The Fraquetball season started out with a mildly loud bang. The big game of the season opener was The Losers vs. Hat Trick. Hat Trick had been doing a lot of talking, and even boasted of an undefeated preseason record. But all their talk was for naught. They were beaten rather quickly. Laffy Taffy also played Alpha Numericals Revisited. Even though Maritza was absent, Jose's stellar defense carried Laffy Taffy to an important conference victory. The most surprising game though, was Fetal Attraction vs. Y.O.U. While Y.O.U. had been playing a lot in the optional preseason, they were their normal selves. Yet they caught Fetal Attraction napping on opening day. The next day Los Geezers played a closer than expected game against a rookie team, Brooklyn Extreme. While the Extreme looked like rookies while playing offense, they showed that they were going to be a force in the Eastern Conference, despite a close loss. Jesson 5 played the next day against Laffy Taffy, and while the defense looked good for this team, the offense was still shaking off some rust. Then again, Laffy Taffy will make any team look silly on offense. Maritza had 15 blocks. But with a little help from Nathan, (2 goals)  Jesson 5 won. 

 

Week 2, 12/12-12/15

This week we saw the debut of an amazing new team. The Brooklyn Extreme, in thier first ever Fraquetball game, barely lost to Alpha Numericals Revisited, who made it to the Semifinals last year. The score was 7-9. In the Northern Conference, The Losers defeated Fetal Attraction with surprising ease, 7-1.Hat Trick prevailed over Ultimate Sonning, behind a stellar performance by Bombo Rivera. Jesson 5 fell behind 3-0 to Alpha Numericals Revisited, but Jesson 5 won, 7-4. And playing for second place in the Eastern Conference, Los Geezers beat Laffy Taffy, 7-1.

 

Week 3, 1/3-1/6

In a battle of the undefeateds, Jesson 5 beat Los Geezers 7-4. The next day though, Los Geezers beat Alpha Numericals Revisited, 7-4. After this week it seems next to impossible that The Losers won't win the North, or that Jesson 5 won't win the East.

 

Week 4, 1/9-1/12

This week we saw a highly anticipated game between Fetal Attraction and Los Geezers. In fact, Los Geezers showed off their jerseys, which had the Fraquetball logo in back, along with a headline saying Los Geezers. Tim started off with an ace, but after that, it was all Fetal Attraction. They won, 7-1. The next day, in a game that wasn't highly anticipated, Jesson 5 played Brooklyn Extreme, looking to extend their winning streak to 6. Tim Leone-Getten subbed for Cheng, and that helped Brooklyn Extreme's effort.The game started tied at 2, and the final score was 7-2, Brooklyn Extreme. Nathan Jesson had 14 saves though, thats a lot for one game. Maybe its a record for a losing, non-overtime effort.

 

Week 5, 1/17-1/20

In a matchup of second place teams, we had a good game between Los Geezers and Hat Trick. Los Geezers scored two in a row to start, but then Griffin took over. Scoring on 5 of his next 6 shots, Hat Trick took a 6-2 lead. But the game wasn't quite over. Los Geezers scored three in a row to make it 6-5. But it was not to be. Hat Trick won the next point, and with it, the game. The same day, Fetal Attraction played Laffy Taffy. With strong defensive performances, Laffy Taffy won, 8-6. The next day the only remaining undefeated team, The Losers, played the underachieving Alpha Numericals Revisited. Tom and Carl did an amazing job restraining Jaime, and at the same time showed no restraint. They led 7-6. But The Losers scored three consecutive goals to win the game. After week 5,the playoffs seem almost set in the Northern Conference. A breakdown is unlikely by the Losers, and the worst they could conceivably  finish is 11-2. Hat Trick and Fetal Attraction will fight for the second spot. The Eastern Conference is another story. Jesson 5 are 6-1, and will probably win the division. But after that, nothing is certain. You have four teams competing for two spots. The fifth place team (Alpha Numericals Rev.) is only 1.5 games behind the second place team (Los Geezers.)

 

Week 6, 1/23-1/24

In a shortened week due to ball shortage and a Friday off of school, some marquee names still played. Laffy Taffy was the slight underdog in their game against Hat Trick, and it seemed like the oddsmakers were right, at first. Hat Trick had about wrapped the game up, they wre ahead, 5-2. At that point, Jose had taken 12 shots, and had yet to score. Indeed, it looked most bleak. But then behind Maritza's stellar performance, on both sides of the ball, Laffy Taffy made a game of it. In fact, they won, 8-6.The next day, Ultimate Sonning played Alpha Numericals Revisited. Ultimate Sonning had not been having a good year. Their two wins had come against the two worst teams in Fraquetball, and they lost to D-Unit, who were 2-16 last year. But Alpha Numericals weren't exactly living the high life. Or maybe they were, and that was the cause of their problems. They wentered the game 3-4. They had barely beat Brooklyn Extreme, and their other wins came against D-Unit and Steroids. The game was truly something to behold. I don't know actually, I'm just guessing based on the score. I'm assuming Tom played vicious defense, Antonio made some cool looking shots, Carl cracked some sort of joke, and Kieran let a ball go because it was 5 feet above his head. Ultimate Sonning did win though, 7-5. The Losers beat Jesson 5 in a hard fought match. Jaime and Tim were on top of their game, and Doug and Nathan were average. Only incompetence will stop The Losers from running the table now. The All-Star game was pushed back to accommadate extraordinarily lazy teenagers.

 

Week 7, 2/1-2/3

The All-Star game lived up to the billing. Indeed, it more than lived up to it. No, actually, lived up to the billing is the expression I'm looking for. What a match! Also Hat Trick played what they assumed would be an easy game against D-Unit. The game was back and forth, but D-Unit was holding a slim lead most of the game. At 10-10, the game was delayed until the next day because of time. And the next day, D-Unit seemed to still be playing well. They led11-10, then gave up the lead. Then 12-11, then 13-12. They were unable to put Hat Trick away. In fact, in this way, D-Unit is strikingly similiar to the Minnesota Timberwolves. After 13-12, D-Unit folded like a cheap card table, or maybe a thing piece of paper, and lost the next three points, and with them, the game.

 

Week 8, 2/6-2/10

Alpha Numericals Revisited were in between a rock and a hard place at the beginning of the week, and that's where they ended up on Friday too. But it certainly was an interesting week for them.On Monday they were underdogs against Los Geezers. It wasn't quite a must win game for them, but pretty close. They won the game in undramatic fashion, 7-3, keeping them alive in the playoff chase. Then on Wednesday, they played Jesson 5. While it seemed as if they were concealing it, they were undoubtedly quivering in fear on the inside. The game was a good one, the story being Tom only taking three shots, but scoring on two of them. They looked harmless, but Nathan couldn't do a thing.They won, 7-4. That put them at 5-5, and assuming Los Geezers lost to Laffy Taffy, would put them tied for third. But you know what they say, when you assume, you make a something or other out of the both of us. Los Geezers lucked out. Or so it would seem. Jose was absent that Wednesday, and some questioned Maritza's judgement when she picked Kieran to sub for him. But Kieran had three aces that game. But it wouldn't be enough. Los Geezers did luck out, and they won, 9-7. But back to our mathematically gifted friends Tom and Carl. On Friday they played Laffy Taffy. And let me tell you, straight from the straight talk express, (which is me, not a train John McCain rode around back when he was running for president) the game wasn't something to behold. Laffy Taffy won 7-1. Then Jesson 5 beat Brooklyn Extreme, behind a stellar performance by Doug Anderson. So let me break down the Eastern Conference playoff race for you. Laffy Taffy and Jesson 5 have clinched, and Steroids were eliminated a ways back. So that leaves three teams playing for one spot. On Tuesday there will be essentially an elimination game, assuming Tom and Carl beat Steroids on Monday. Brooklyn Extreme at 5-6, will play Alpha Numericals Revisited, at 6-6. Whoever wins, stays alive, whoever loses is out of the picture. Now on Thursday, Los Geezers will play Jesson 5, and if Los Geezers win, they'll clinch and nothing else matters. But realistically, they'll lose. So then Brooklyn Extreme will play Los Geezers. At this point, if Los Geezers wins, they clinch, if they haven't already. But if Brooklyn Extreme wins, and already beat Alpha Numericals Revisited, they clinch a sudden death match with Los Geezers. If Brookyln Extreme lost to Tom and Carl, and beat Los Geezers, then Alpha Numericals Revisited will clinch a sudden death match with Los Geezers. Simple.

 

Week 9, 2/14-2/16

On the 14th, Hat Trick was 7-3, still alive chasing The Losers for first place. On the 15th, there were those wondering whether they would make the playoffs. On Tuesday, Hat Trick lost to both The Losers, and Fetal Attraction. At the end of the week they were 7-5, Fetal Attraction was 8-4, The Losers were 12-1, and Ultimate Sonning was 3-6. For Ultimate Sonning to make the playoffs they need to win out. They have games against Y.O.U. and D-Unit, which will probably both be sure victories. Then they have a game against Fetal Attraction, who has already clinched, so they may lack motivation. Fetal Attraction was the first team to beat The Losers since The Losers lost to Alpha Numericals Rev. back in February 2005.  Then there's the Hat Trick game, which is what it all comes down to. Unless of course, Ultimate Sonning wins, then they'll have a sudden death match against Hat Trick. Over in the eastern conference, a number of things transpired this week. Alpha Numericals Rev. beat Steroids, setting the stage for their match against Brooklyn Extreme. The game was not something to behold. I say behold a lot in these Fraquetball wrapups. Brooklyn Extreme won, 7-2. In fact, on the last point, Tom let the ball roll by. To make the playoffs, Brooklyn Extreme needs to beat Los Geezers, Jesson 5 needs to beat Los Geezers, and then Brooklyn Extreme needs to beat Los Geezers in the sudden death match.  

 

Week 10, 2/21-2/24

Heading into the week, most people were talking about Brooklyn Extreme's playoff chances. By Friday, they were a distant memory. On Tuesday, they were eliminated by Los Geezers. And the next few days, it was the story of Ultimate Sonning. With victories over Fetal Attraction, Y.O.U, and D-Unit, they found themselves one game away from the playoffs. Kieran had been playing the best Fraquetball of his life the past three games, and played a bigger role in the deciding game against Hat Trick. Kieran had launched himself into first place in shot%, shooting over 50% the past three games. But it wasn't offense that was the story of the game. Undoubtedley, it was Antonio Rosario's jaw dropping defensive play. 10 blocks, and five steals, in one game. Those aren't everyday statistics. After one of Antonios shots, Griffin said, "its like a knuckleball," baffled that he somehow stopped it. But Antonio struggled on the offensive end, shooting just 4 for 16. Luckily, Kieran shot a decent 30% to give Ultimate Sonning the victory. Their victory forced a one game playoff. At first, the game seemed very anticlimactic. Griffin had taken over, shooting 4 for his first 9. Hat Trick led 5-1. Ultimate Sonning came back, scoring two goals. Antonio, the entire time, made John Knapp, (who had played well defensively the first game) a non factor. But in doing so, he was completley relying on Kieran. And Kieran stepped it up on offense, but couldn't stop Griffin. Hat Trick won, 7-3. Hat Trick will play Fetal Attraction in the first round of the playoffs. There is only one game left in the regular season, Jesson 5 vs. Los Geezers. If Los Geezers win, they'll clinch first in the conference. If Jesson 5 win, they'll play Laffy Taffy in a first to 2 game, and the winner will clinch first in the conference.

 

Week 11, 2/27-3/3

To start the week, Jesson 5 played Los Geezers. There was only one save recorded that wasn't on a serve. Leo and Nathan may as well have been cardboard cutouts of themselves. Jesson 5 won, 7-4. Then we had the Fetal Attraction-Hat Trick series. In the first game, Hat Trick led 4-2, and then Liam decided he wanted to win the game, and he did, Fetal Attraction won, 7-4. The next game wasn't so nice for Fetal Attraction, they lost 3-7. The score doesn't tell how great the next game was. With long points, and hard fought defensive efforts, Fetal Attraction won, 7-3.Then we had the Los Geezers-Laffy Taffy series. Each game seemed similiar to the other. I'm not really sure why. Here are the scores; 7-3 7-3, 7-3. Thats Laffy Taffy winning the first and third games. On Friday, the start of the Northern Conference Finals took place. At first, it looked like it wouldn't be that close. The Losers were on fire, and they made Liam and Andrew look awkward on the court, as if they were at a high school reunion. The Losers made few, if any mistakes, winning 7-2. The next game they were just as good. And it was barely good enough. They won what may have been the best game of the year, 12-10.

 

Week 12, 3/6-3/9

Fetal Attraction put up a valiant fight against The Losers in the conference finals, but they were fighting an uphill battle. They won the third game, 7-5, but lost the fourth, 8-6. Then there was the other semifinal. Excuse me, I think I need a moment......................................................... okay, now I'm ready to talk about it. What a great first game! Though Nathan and Doug weren't performing their best, they won an incredible game, 11-9. The next game went to Laffy Taffy, 7-3. And the next game was just as good as the first. At game point with Laffy Taffy leading, 9-8, Nathan was setting a pick. Doug shot, and the ball bounced back and scored. Heartbreaking. But the series was not over yet! There was still one game left to play! But Laffy Taffy won, then the series was over. It was curtains for Jesson 5. Curtains. Yeah the Jesson 5 really blew it. Wow I was dissapointed. I mean a rookie was playing front Defense. If Doug had let Nathan shoot even once maybe this sereis would have come out differently. But Doug really should've switched up where he was shooting. I mean all Duane had to do was stand in one place and jump!

 

Week 13, 3/14-3/20

The championship was finally upon us. Laffy Taffy took a stunning 2-0 lead over The Losers, who were finally living up to their name. Many experts still had The Losers winnning though. The next game they showed why they were 15-2 on the year, before entering the finals. They won, 7-1. The next game was as thrilling as it was exhilirating, Laffy Taffy won, 7-4 The fifth game. Laffy Taffy won, 7-0. Has there ever been a less climactic game in Fraquetball Finals history. Well, I'm glad you asked. Last year Jesson 5 entered the fourth game down, 3-0. At first  they were down 6-2, and made it 6-4 before losing. Pretty anticlimactic, but not quite there. The year before the finals had been shortened to a 2 out of 3 series to acommadate Frisbee season. Mexico City Sombreros lost 7-3 in the second game, with only The Commissioner and one other present. Damn that anticlimactic! But it isn't 7-0 material. Heck, The Losers played double front defense on the last two points. The season before that was Jesson 5 vs. Gentle Giants. Gentle Giants had won the first three games all close. The dropped the next two with minimal effort. They lost an exciting sixth game, that forced a game 7. Game 7 is known in the Fraquetball world as just that; Game 7. It is spoken of with great respect, for it was quite possibly, the greatest game of Fraquetball ever. Jesson 5 won 7-5. It was certainly very exciting. I know I was there. The year before that (the first year of Fraquetball) Gentle Giants played Los Geezers. And at this point, Gentle Giants were regarded as the underdog. They lost the first game, but won the next four. The scores of these games are not findable, because they were never written down. The deciding game was probably close, but not that close, maybe 7-3, or 7-4. So yes, the fifth game of the 2006 Fraquetball Finals is the most anticlimactic finish in Fraquetball history.